Scaffolding that Practically Builds Itself

aluminium scaffoldingAnyone remember that movie, Ledge of the Moro? I honestly don’t remember much about it…something about people cliff-diving while eating terrible off-brand chocolate. Also, aliens. Creepy CG aliens that didn’t move like normal living creatures, which I guess was a deliberate design choice to make them seem even more unsettling. Hard to describe, but they were all shifty and warpy, like they were characters in an online game with loads of lag.

That was how I felt going into work today. Jim brought along that new set of mobile aluminium scaffolding that he’s been raving about for so long, he empties it out of the box and it just…sets itself up. It landed in a huge pile, all loose and higgledy-piggledy. Just a pile of metal. Then it starts to hum and sets itself up, this massive bit of scaffolding assembling bit by bit until it’s absolutely huge. Honestly? Really unsettling to watch. Not sure why this was necessary either, because the guys and I don’t usually have any problems setting up the scaffolding. It’s not exactly the hardest puzzle in the world once you’ve done it a few times, and then you get the satisfaction of knowing you’ve handled every piece of the thing you’ll be walking on.

Unfortunately, the boss was totally fine with the weird moving metal thing, and we had to spend most of the day on top of it. Can’t say I was too happy about climbing that thing, and even less about spending time up there, but it at least felt okay. Definitely didn’t feel like a flimsy thing that just assembled itself but…still makes me uneasy. I like my custom ladders to be just that: custom, set up by me. I don’t even care if Lawrence Corp brings out a construction bot that does our job for us, aluminium platform setting up and all…it just makes me nervous.

-Neville

A Terrible Shade of Puce

folding platform stepsI know everyone has their preferences for things. Up until I was fifteen I used to tell everyone that my favourite colour was puce, purely because I thought I was being unique and edgy. So…that was embarrassing. I once dated a guy whose favourite type of music was catchy elevator tunes; he had CDs that he played in the car and everything. Weird relationship in general, not that I think about it. Should’ve been a warning sign from our very first car ride together, when he put in the tape and excitedly told me that it was a jazz version of ‘Hey Jude’. That’s not a jazz song, in case anyone had the slightest bit of doubt.

But yeah, everyone has their thing, and I’ll allow it. But my husband wanting to paint one side of our house purple? Where did he even GET the idea? I only went along with it because I thought it was relatively easy to reverse. Him and my father-in-law showed up on Saturday with their folding platform steps and a whole set of mobile scaffolding that can’t possibly have fit inside his tiny garage, and they went to work. I had to climb that mobile scaffolding to bring them lunch, I’ll have you know. I actually became a part of this madness, no matter how small that part was. So then I go inside and wait for them to finish with the tentative air of a soldier hiding in the trenches and waiting for the bullets to stop flying. All I can see through the kitchen window is the metal of the mobile scaffolding, so I’m trying to keep busy whilst wondering what my house is going to look like afterwards.

Terrible, is the answer to that question. I thought we were going for a dark purple, something classy that would mark us as distinct but still stay subtle. Nope. In the bright light of the sun, that thing shines like a puce beacon, like our house has a skin coating.

So, they’re coming back this Saturday, mobile scaffolding and all, to do it right. This time, they can pack their own lunches.

-Talia

A window into vandalism in bizarre overnight thefts

timber window repairsAn epidemic of vandalism has left an entire street requiring window repairs.

Overnight on Sunday, a number of letterboxes and windows were removed from houses in a quiet North Melbourne street.

“The most urgent action to take is for the affected residents to organise for window replacement, Melbourne citizens should be vigilant about further vandalism that may occur,” said police spokesperson Timothy Carpenter.

It is believed that the thieves only removed open windows and older style windows that do not lock.

The current whereabouts of the removed windows is not known, however all stolen letterboxes have been recovered. The letterboxes had been dumped in the centre of a nearby roundabout.

It appears that no items were stolen from inside the houses, suggesting that the incidents were not motivated by an attempt to rob the houses.

“At this stage we believe that the acts were undertaken as a thrill rather than to harm or steal from residents,” said Carpenter.

It is suspected that a local gang of teenagers is responsible for the spate of attacks. The attacks were believed to be conducted without the aid of a car, as marks consistent with dragging letterboxes have been sighted throughout neighbouring streets.

This is following similar acts of vandalism last month, in which several shops on a neighbouring street had their awning removed during the night.

It is not known if the same perpetrators are behind both incidents, or if Sunday night’s events were a copycat act of vandalism following the extensive media coverage of the awning thefts.

Most of the affected residents are seeking timber window repairs, Melbourne regulations stipulate that the windows must be replaced in line with the original appearance of the house.

Several of the affected houses are heritage listed. Owners have sought permission to install timber casement windows due to the security benefits of having lockable windows.

Residents that believe their letterbox or windows have been removed are urged to contact police.

Old buildings in dire need of pest inspections

termite treatmentsThere’s an abandoned warehouse just down the road from me that I’m interested in buying. No big deal. I discovered it the other day when I was searching for a place to get some milk. In fact, it towers over the landscape so I’m not exactly sure why I haven’t seen it before. It’s old, and derelict, and in need of some care. Okay, a lot of care. And sure, yes, I know I promised myself that I wouldn’t do this kind of thing anymore, but I had to go and take a look. For old time’s sake.

I fancied myself a full-fledged pest inspector back in the day. Sure, you actually need qualifications for that sort of thing, but that didn’t matter to me. I thought my extensive experience would be enough to know what to look for during a termite inspection. Mornington for some reason has the perfect climate for termites to thrive. I’d plumbed around plenty of old warehouses, factories, even mansions. Even the mansion. Still makes me shudder. But you get my point, I thought because I walked around old places a few times, I was at the top of my game. Right up there with the best ! I was indestructible.

I was delusional. The factory I spent so long renovating was knocked down after some real property inspectors took a look and decided that it wasn’t fit to be left standing. They wrote a damning building defect report. Melbourne has strict rules when it comes to buildings. Yeah, a bit gutting. Still, I think it was the right decision. In hindsight, probably. Now I focus my energy on worthwhile things, like my very sweet sort-of girlfriend. Except…well, just this once, the warehouse and it’s termites were calling to me. You know what they say about old habits, and it was just so…derelict. Derelict is my favourite way for things to be, because it means boundless promise. So one more time, I got in touch with a company for a quote on termite treatments. Mornington isn’t exactly the cheapest place in Australia for property, but termite damage can lower prices significantly. In the end I thought it was worth a look. As I thought, the cost would be astronomical. Still, I did a few calculations and made up my mind. I’m going to take the place, termites and all. I can look past the damage and see the potential.