Category Archives: Boating

Boating King Pending

I wonder when the Boat King will be coming back. He said he’d come and pick me up soon, but I’ve been waiting for hours now. I don’t know how much longer I can sit here out in the cold before giving up on him. Mind you, I don’t want to give up on a great man like him. I’m sure he’ll come through for me. But what if he doesn’t? What if I am left to freeze in the cold winds of winter? He wouldn’t do that to me. I’m sure he wouldn’t. The man who made welding for snapper racks near Melbourne cool would never abandon me. He cares greatly about the life of his loyal vassal. If he doesn’t come back for me, what would that say about his qualities as a leader and a deserving holder of the Boat King title? Without his reputation, he would just be Sesh Oma Roo, the regular boat-loving pirate!

It was the strangest thing, our parting. He dropped me off at the supermarket and told me to pick up some cheese. He didn’t care what kind of cheese, as long as it was yellow and crumbly, and cost under $10. I said I wouldn’t fail him. And then my master said, “Thank you, Joken. I will be coming back for you. I have done a terrible thing and have the entire police force after me. Stay here. I will be going to Iceland.” So he is definitely coming back. I don’t know why he is going to Iceland or for how long, but I am sure he will be right back. Master Sesh Oma Roo would never forget about me!

When it gets dark, though, I think I will head off. I have a bunch of boat latches to weld. I am such an invaluable servant to the Boat King, which is why I am so confident he will be back. Eventually, at least. He must have gotten held up. Alright, I suppose it is time to go!

When She Talks

Quite an interesting discussion last night at the Futurist Club…or at least, it was until Emma hijacked the whole thing because she wanted to talk about fishing rod holders. She has an uncanny ability to hijack *anything* and turn it to her own topic of choice, even if it’s not her turn to speak. I was in mid-flow about how it’s going to be totally okay to live in the outback after they invent gigantic energy domes that protect people from sandstorms, so you can live there without fear of a wallaby or a scorpion being whipped up by desert winds and crashing into you on your way to work.

But then…Emma chimes in and says something about fishing boats, because the outback will be watered at the time due to weather manipulation, and then it came to fishing rod holders. That is, fishing rod holders of the FUTURE. Of course, Emma. If I wasn’t secretly, madly in love with you then I’d be quite cross that you’re interrupting me.

Emma loves to talk about fishing in the future, and how you’ll be able to have a snapper rack installed and it’ll be able to magnetise people to it in stormy weather, which will be quite common after the coming catastrophe. And I listen to her, and I’m SO bored because snapper racks and fishing rod holders that can recommend great fishing spots with integrated AI just aren’t interesting, but I want Emma to keep talking because she has such a beautiful voice, and the rare moments when she talks about something that ISN’T to do with stainless steel marine welding are the times when my soul is set ablaze.

I remember everything she’s ever said, you know. Every time she’s talked about the welding industry facing opposition from android duplicates of workers, every time she mentions bionic fish confusing the fishing industry…it all just sticks in my mind. And it’s frustrating! And I want to hear more…