I say, I can’t believe that after months of searching for the Glass Smashing Bandit, he’s been handed to us on a silver platter by that lovely Zach Jordan fellow.
We put the bandit in the back seat of our car, along with the strange glass bottle of green goop Zach Jordan had given us for some reason. The bandit didn’t argue at all, seemingly crushed by his defeat.
“We just have to stop at a mechanic shop near Brunswick to get some new tyres,” I called back, as Whatson and I entered the front. “I hope that’s alright. You’re not in a big rush to spend the rest of your life in prison, are you?”
The Glass Smashing Bandit shook his head. Truth be told, I almost felt bad for the man. He looked so broken. I suppose he never thought he’d get caught. Poor fool.
Suddenly he spoke up. “Why am I going to jail? I don’t smash glass anymore. I haven’t damaged anyone’s property other than my own for months now. It’s almost likely I’m a completely different person to the one you hunted, for no explicable reason. It’s really weird, actually. My characterisation hasn’t been very consistent.”
Whatson turned to me. “You’d better start driving, Schlock. We’ll be late for our appointment at the car repair shop. Brunswick mechanics don’t wait, you know.”
I started the car up and began the short drive. As we went, I spoke to the bandit. “I’m afraid the legal system doesn’t work like that, my good chap. You still have to atone for your previous crimes.” I turned back to Whatson. “Say, I’m quite thirsty. Do we have anything to drink?
Whatson looked around. “Just this strange, complimentary drink given to me by Zach Jordan. I think it could be radioactive, though.”
We looked at the bottle’s glowing, green liquid.
“I’ll risk it,” I said, taking the bottle from his hands and opening the lid.
“Wait, no, that’s my friend!” said the bandit.
I took a gulp and immediately spat it out. “That’s disgusting!” I said. “Celebrities sure are strange.”
Without hesitation, I rolled down the window and threw the bottle from my car. The green liquid splattered along the gutter behind us.